i am a china shop and you are a bull
As I mentioned in my last post, I ran into she-who-will-not-be-named on Sunday. It was a horrible experience mostly because my immediate gut reaction was to move as quickly as possible, to be as far away from the situation as humanly possible. I blurted out a "Hey, How Are You?" and didn't stop for an answer (in fact, i think my pace picked up quite a bit) and then immediately had to go and sit down with my head between my legs so nauseous and upset from the encounter.
It totally pains me that I have (had?) known her for almost 9 1/2 years and this is what's left, near nothingness. She was such an intimate part of my life and has had such a huge impression on the person that I've turned out to be and now I can't even stop to hear how she is. I feel like I'm torn between wanting to meet her for coffee and knowing that I have no idea what to say. Should I just continue to run or should I sit and meet this head on? Thoughts?
posted by ADubs at 11:27 AM
7 Comments:
1) I am really sorry. This break up sounds like it has been painful.
2) Why do you want to meet for coffee? You need to think about your motives and also establish a goal for yourself if you do decide you want to meet for coffee (when I say goal I mean you need to go in there with a clear sense of what you want/need to say and hope to gain from a meeting).
3) Think of the worst case scenario of a coffee meeting and whether you would truly be prepared to deal with it at this time.
4) It's only been four months right? Why not wait a few months instead of forcing action right after your first unexpected encounter with her? (and give yourself a break -- it was the first time you've seen her). Things are shifting all the time and you might be in a very different place in a month or so and know what it is you want/need to do.
4) Good luck whatever you decide.
9:54 PM
rose are red;
violets are blue;
new ex's suck;
have coffee with them does too!
what about chatting via internet so you can remember how to fill the space that has developed between you? then things may not be so charged. good luck, i've been there.
10:32 AM
if you ever really loved her, why are you so afraid of her.
9:01 PM
There is a big difference between running away and facing your feelings. Yes, there is a long relationship history, but dont beat yourself up because you don't like the person SHE'S become.
11:47 AM
Hey Anonymous,
Two things:
1. if you've ever really been in love youd understand that what's going on has nothing to do with fear.
2. You're obviously a courageous person, I mean with not even signing your name on a comment, you really show you're not afraid of anything
9:47 AM
First of all I wasn’t putting you down when I said you were afraid of her. All I was trying to say was don’t be afraid to let her know how you feel. Second of all I was passing by your blogg and thought I would comment, I wasn’t trying to be brave please don’t be angry with me. You seem very angry and you probably have every rite to be. I’m not sure how long you two were together or the circumstances of your breakup so I really cant comment accurately. Actually I was thinking about being one of your ten dates but now I’m afraid of you.
9:35 PM
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11:22 PM
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