ASK ME THE DATE, GO AHEAD I DARE YOU

What's that you say? Is it really December 11th? Could it be true? Well yes my good friends its true. And the totally amazing part. My holiday shopping is DONE. Yep, you read it here first, I'm done. Gifts for the Mom, the Brothers, the dad, and all of Ms. Mo's family FINITO. And they've each gotten gifts that screams them, no impersonal body shop compilations, no boring electronics, and no gift certificates. Let's all pause a moment while I pat myself on the back and make you feel a little bit more stressed about the fact that there's only 8 days until hanukkah and 14 days until christmas.

oh wait, what's that splash you feel as i pat myself on the back, oh that's just rain water, because its a damned monsoon outside. or at least it was on my walk to work this morning. its always nice to have rain blowing at you sideways, rendering your umbrella totally useless. Now I have to sit in wet pants all day long. This is how one gets pneumonia - and i should know, I'm not a doctor but I work with one on TV. ok, well maybe not on TV. but you get the idea.

now, i know you're probably thinking to yourself, "well good, i'm glad she's soaking wet, that's what she gets for bragging about her unbelievable foresight in getting her christmukkah shopping done," but remember people that ill wishing is not nice. bad karma's a bitch. being thankful that i'm all wet will mean that inevitably while you are on your way to lunch or home later today, you will be waiting for a light to change so you can cross. A cab will come dangerously close to you and the curb and you will get splashed from a puddle about 3 feet deep full of dirty rain water. Or, you'll be walking along, your cell phone will ring, its your mother so you answer, and boom you step into a puddle that because you weren't paying attention looked like it was part of the street. now you're wet up to your knee and your perfect new shoe will never recover. this will be your fate for laughing in the face of my misery. mark my words.

and have a fabulous rainy afternoon. shall we go to the movies later? maybe play a round of scrabble while drinking some red wine? whaddya think?