Interviewer Number Two comes to us from out in AOLIM land. JMonatlik, not a blogger, is an avid reader of VTB. She is a bi-costal critic of mediocre dining and film. She most recently has been in production with two features set to hit the video stands early next year. She is thrilled to hold this interview with Ms. Wolinetz to uncover and discover the world through the eyes of a girl dropped on her head as a child (I don't know that for a fact.)


Jmonatlik: Let's talk politics for a second....which candidate do you think is most ideal for the democratic ticket (John Kerry excluded because he sucks)?

Andrea: way to start off slow... ok, i have to admit if this were an ideal world - i'd take Clark/Edwards - i really like John Edwards, but he's a bit inexperienced and i think Wes Clark is pretty sharp and just a little bit nuts, together they might make a killer combo... but you can't count out John Kerry - he's got the best hair of the bunch. I think his hair and Peter Gallagher's eyebrows should run together

Jmonatlik: I like cereal for breakfast, what do you like for breakfast? (I've so far had two bowls of cereal)

Andrea: coffee. I don't usually eat until I've been up for a few hours. Although if I were eating breakfast foods later in the day (and I was still eating bread) - Egg-in-the-hole, I loved those things when I was a kid

Jmonatlik: Hole-in-one answer... Some people have an expression they say again and again, like, 'holy bu-jesus' or 'not with my dollar.' What's yours? or 'he got beaten with the ugly stick' That's what I was looking for...proceed

Andrea: hmmm... I'd have to think about that. Most of my good expressions I've stolen from others along the way - but i use 'how does one person get to be so funny?' a lot. Also, "tough times", "sad state of affairs," and "friends don't let friends dress like that"

Jmonatlik: all choice expressions. So, you've lived in Brooklyn for a couple of months or less. Is there really a huge difference between your hometown and Brooklyn? Aren't there assholes wherever you go? And are there any good deals in Brooklyn?

Andrea: There are assholes wherever you go. The ones in Brooklyn just have thicker accents. The big difference is my brother is less likely to come to Brooklyn. Also instead of Cow jokes all of the time I get jokes about needing a passport. People are very clever.

Jmonatlik: Very.

Andrea: As for deals. Brooklyn is the ancient Inuit word for deals

Jmonatlik: I don't know what "Inuit" means. Please explain.

Andrea: Inuit are indigenous people from the Arctic/Alaskan Region. Most people call them "Eskimos"

Jmonatlik: Do you "tick"? And if so, what makes you do so?

Andrea: I have a tic. If thats what you mean, but thanks for pointing it out, I feel much better about myself now

Jmonatlik: I'm laughing, but I feel wrong for it. I'm sorry about your tic. (That was uncomfortable...) Moving on: What's your favorite gift you've ever gotten? And "why"?

Andrea: When I was four, I got a bookbag with my name painted on it. I threw a temper-tantrum, I wanted a backpack, not a bookbag. Bastards didn't understand the difference. I cried and cried and kicked and generally made my friends Christopher and Steven (they're brothers) feel overall shitty for giving me the wrong thing. Oh, favorite gift? hmmm... that would have to be my grandmother's high school ring.

Jmonatlik: I like films about cowboys and racecar drivers. What's your favorite genre of film?

Andrea: Easy, Teensploitation. Especially if its a modern day remake of a Shakespeare Play that takes place in High School. Also, I like porn.

Jmonatlik: I like porn, too. Generally speaking, do you think this country is ok with mixed marriages? Is there still a stigma with "jungle fever," or is it just "jungle slight-temperature"?

Andrea: I think it's just jungle slight-temperature, unless you're in the deep south. I also think this country is so wrapped up in all issues Homosexual that noone has time to care about race. So, if "Jungle Fever" were made today, i think it would star, Wesley Snipes and Carson from Queer Eye. Talk about a fever pitch.

Jmonatlik: Ok, on a serious note: What balloon would you have at the Macy's Day parade to exemplify your purpose on this earth? Thanksgiving Day parade, excuse me...

Andrea: Good Question. Can they make baloons of the Olsen Twins? No, wait, strike that - the baloon would be a goat with a monocle.
Jmonatlik: The goat would be awesome, but the olsen twins would probably touch so many more lives...And finally, Do you like to dance?
AndreaWolinetz: Oooh what a feeling, we were dancing on the ceiling!