Bitter Cynical Rants from One as Snarky as Waldorf and As Sexy as Statler.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Recipe for Moving Disaster(s); or How the Universe continues to play me like a Duncan Yo-Yo

1. Find a great two bedroom apartment with roommate. Agree to sign lease. Have roommate bail 3 hours before lease signing.
2. Find great studio apartment in the process of being renovated. Get promised it will be done by June 1st.
3. Begin Packing.
4. Have packing interrupted by ex-girlfriend, this will cause the saddest day you've had in months and reduce you to a useless puddle of tears for the afternoon.
5. Marinate.
6. Write said ex-girlfriend letter saying things you've had a hard time saying out loud. As you're signing your name immediately add ex-girlfriend's return, this time also add ex-girlfriend's sister, mother and father.
7. Flee the neighborhood. Return several hours later to find front door wide open.
8. Text ex-girlfriend. Have her call back immediately leading to the best conversation you've had in months. Recognize the fact that out of bad comes good sometimes.
9. Try to start packing again the next morning. Get interrupted by father who tells you that no movers have been hired.
10. Spend the rest of the morning trying to hire movers. Finally find movers.
11. Resume packing.
12. Get call from landlord saying that apartment will NOT be ready but there's a vacant apartment stuff can be stored in. Have landlord promise that the apartment will be ready Thursday night and stuff will be moved from storage apartment to actual apartment at his cost.
13. Get friends to help you pack since none of it has been accomplished yet.
14. Wake up next morning praying that sketchy movers hired the day before will show up.
15. Exhale. They showed up.
16. While movers are unloading your stuff into storage apartment, go upstairs to check on other apartment.
17. Observe that no work has been done and no one is inside working.
18. Pray that when you get home tonight stuff will be moved as promised.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh god, this both sucks and blows. You have a signed lease, right? The lease says June1, right? Uhh...I think your new landlord owes you some money, or you owe him prorated rent. Be not screwed!

12:12 PM

 
Blogger ADubs said...

yes. signed lease says June 1st. He will be prorating my rent. Not that I'm in the apartment yet, because I'm not

9:07 AM

 

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