2 LETTERS FOR TODAY:

Dear NY Daily News, NY Post, Sports Reporters, Columnists and Cartoonists everywhere:

OK. I get it. The Marlins are fish. They can be reeled, hooked, fried, etc. "We've gone Fishing." You're all very clever and punny, oh and original. Extremely original. It's a good thing we're not playing the Florida Crabs, I could only imagine the witty headlines you'd come up with. Its just enough already, there's only so many drawings of Torre on the back of a boat holding a fishing rod that I'm willing to put up with. Unless of course its an Al Hirschfeld drawing, but he would have never stooped to this level, and he has passed on. So please people, I beg you, let it go. Its not funny, its not cute, its just annoying.

Sincerely,

Andrea "Cracking Nuts" Wolinetz

To: Mr. Allen H. "Bud" Selig, Commissioner, Major League Baseball

Kind sir, I hope this correspondence finds you in good health. I'm sorry to bother you during the World Series, I know you have some other things on your mind, but I was wondering if we could discuss, Round 1 of the Post-season ( I know how much you don't like them to be called play-offs). Now I know that the Wild Card race has brought with it some added excitement, and that the BoSox/Bombers series would have never happened without the wildcard, but 3 rounds is just too much baseball. I'm exhausted. I have bags under my eyes that could rival Al Pacino's. My social life is floundering, as is my ability to know what else is going on in the world. Since the beginning of the post-season I have devoted hours and hours of my life to what has been referred to as "America's Pastime." I have watched 34 baseball games since September 30th. Thanks to Tim McCarver and Joe Buck and the rest of the fabulous people at Fox Sports, I know things like Mike Lowell got a 1210 on his SAT's and Pudge Rodriguez likes Yanni. I don't even know what my girlfriend got on her SAT's. Do you see that there's a problem here? I ask you to look into your heart Mr. Selig and have some compassion. Change it back to the old format of just the pennant and the world series.

I have one little small request. This isn't so much for me as it is for all of the other millions of devoted baseball fans out there. Sometime soon, (maybe 2018?) you may want to consider a Cubs/Red Sox world series. Think of it. One team would have to emerge victorious, while the other continues to stew in its own personal misery. Who's curse would be broken? Who's would live on? It would be fabulous, gritty, and heartbreaking for so many at the same time. Plus, you'd have some ratings. Let me know, this way I can expect only so much from my Yankees that year.

Yours,

Andrea E. "Ang" Wolinetz