The Return, bullet style:

So I've dug myself out of an insane amount of work and pumpkin pie to bring you some interesting tidbits, just small enough so you can still work off those calories from Thursday, but large enough to keep you fulfilled:

• If I buy a six pack, do I get some lube as well? India makes it MANDATORY to give away free condoms when people buy liquor.
• They dont need no education, just the el-bees to pay the bills. School children from The Wall suing Pink Floyd for Royalties.
• Future uncertain, but certainly slight. INXS to replace Michael Hutchens ? On a Television show? so sad.
• Christmas carols for the OC fan - or, Have Yourself a Merry Indie Christmas. [c/o Stereogum]
• I get up. Nothing gets me down... go ahead, Jump, take a picture and send it to this guy.
• Shouldn't a judge leave the phillies until after making a decision? High Court Hears Medical Marijuana Issue

Maybe, if you're I'm, lucky, I'll have something interesting to say one of these days.

So you wanna be on TV?

It seems as though if you knew me when I was a wee pup, your shot of being on a reality television show increases dramatically. If I was connected to you in these early years through something Jewish consider yourself a lock for whatever show you just sent an audition tape to.

As you may recall first there was Stacy Rotner on the Apprentice, who I spent years in USY with. Now you can add Kelly Kamen Abe to the list as he is one of the finalists on Battle for Ozzfest. Kelly and I went to hebrew school, junior high and high school together. I was at the young lad's bar-mitzvah. Our parents still belong to the same shul together. Who can deny this sort of coincidence?!?

If you're into that kind of metal, I suggest you check out Kelly's band Sick's Deep at North Six on the 24th or Acme Underground on the 27th.

And if you want to hire Stacy, she's available for parties, umm I mean speaking engagements.

Psst... C'mere I want to tell you a secret.

Ever crave a pumpkin spice latte in the middle of January? How about a Gingerbread Latte on a cool May afternoon? You've had that feeling, you desperately want a "seasonal" latte from Starbucks, but alas its out of season. Well here's a little known piece of information for ya. Even though Starbucks does not advertise its so-called "seasonal beverages" all year round, they are in fact, available all year round!

My friendly Barista at my neighborhood Starbucks informed me of this little nugget the other day, when I went in inquiring about a rumor I heard about the Gingerbread Lattes being back! She informed me that they never left. The only things that go missing are the sprinkles (for those of you who like your peppermint lattes) and other accoutrement that go on the seasonals (ie. the extra spice on top of the pumpkin spice). Genius I tell you! Gives a whole new meaning to Christmas in July.

Speaking of Christmas in July, Macy's unveiled their holiday windows yesterday, and the Christmas tree for Rockefeller Center has started to make its journey from my hometown of Suffern. While its not July, I will say this, labor day was fewer days behind us than christmas is in front of us.

Heh!

.

Proud to be a Citizen of the United States of Canada.

Forecast for the week:

Today: High Winds.
Tomorrow: Torrential Rain
Friday: The Four Horsemen on Broadway.

Choire Sicha said it best this morning:

"America has apparently spoken. Eleven states passed anti-gay marriage constitutional amendments. Bush gets four more years. So you're down with the war in Iraq. You're ready to have at least one Supreme Court slot get reappointed by Bush. Fine. Y'all Got it Figured out. Good for you: go crazy, enjoy it.

As for me, I'm gonna live a selfish, seaboard-clinging life of homosexual decadence and anti-Americanism for the next four years..."

ditto, Choire, ditto.