Bitter Cynical Rants from One as Snarky as Waldorf and As Sexy as Statler.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

waking up to wake up some day

we here at VTB have a very important announcement to make....

we've been listening to the new mandy moore album and we aren't afraid or ashamed to tell you to:

thats all.


Monday, June 25, 2007

Tell me, am I getting in too deep?
Every night I'm talking in my sleep.

What a whirlwind!... we started off the weekend correctly with some serious shopping on friday afternoon and the tastiest gelato in the world (that is just happily on our block), then it was time to kick off our new-school rock and roll friday in old-school fashion by cracking the sparks.... and just like that DISLOCATED was born. Thanks to the Husky G, Mrs. Robinson and some seriously hard partying co-workers, the inaugural party was a success and we plan on being around for quite some time... there are still pants that need to come off, banquettes that need to be danced on, and interns to meet.
*No extra cost for hearing everything we wanted without The Beast lording over the DJ booth.

oooh but we should back up... thursday night we headed out to astoria and the good ole beer garden (we know brooklyn and queens in one week, we're like totally borough hoppers!!!). We may or may not have had way too much to drink. We may or may not have played Kings and Beer Pong and Flip Cup. We may or may not have professed our love to someone we totally shouldn't have, who for the purposes of anonymity we'll refer to as Lashes. We may or may not see a pattern forming that we rebuked Mrs. R for pointing out to us... it may or may not be a proximity problem. allegedly. and one can't necessarily believe everything they read.

right so the weekend continued when our new favorite gaybie crashed at our place and we headed out after watching celebrity fit club (who knew that dustin diamond was such a class a douchebag?) for brunch. We discovered The EU which was quite tasty, we ate the burger. it may or may not have come with a fried egg on top. then we walked over to the Christopher St pier and put in a few hours of some very choice people watching. after that it was off to the west village to be all prideful and shit, but where we wound up running into JLip and her soon-to-be-husband... while sitting at whitehorse we ran into another friend from HS because the world just is that small...

and then, pride. The good senora came down with us to meet Mr. A after he rode his motorcycle in the parade. drinking began, we may or may not have ran into far too many people, drank far too many beers and we may or may not have never made it home.

needless to say, we may or may not be extremely exhausted...

the countdown begins - we leave for SanFran and Napa in a week and a half...
Could you be the one I’m thinking of?
Could you be the girl I really love?
All the people tell me so
But what do all the people know

Monday, June 18, 2007

I've just crossed the line
From fashion to crime
It's such a perfect fit
When I am wearing it

ok so we here at VTB didn't steal your coat. and we're not writing you any songs. we are however launching our newest endeavor...

Say Hello to DISLOCATED Fridays...

welcome back Rock and Roll Fridays...

we missed you.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Is her ass really that nice or are those just good jeans?

We were extremely exhausted again yesterday morning and were in the most foul of moods. We were even in a bad mood after having a very tasty black and blue bone in rib-eye here at lunch Then we were in a bad mood AND we felt like we were preggers with a baby calf. We were ready to cancel all of the myriad of plans we had last night so we could just go home, lie on the couch and watch more eposides of Season 3 of the Shield.

It has occurred to us though (although those of you with even a base knowledge of the VTB team have known this for years) we are completely incapable of saying no.

So instead of catching up with my favorite bad cops, we hit this party here, where our picture wound up on a video screen in Times Square. (There's nothing like having bags under your eyes that are 2 feet long instead of an inch). Then we went down to catch Razorlight play the Nylon Party with RJL:

Both parties were just ok. And we LOVE razolright.

Unofrtunately, or Fortunatley depending on how we're feeling at any given moment,the non-stop bacchanale continues tonight as we have drinks with our new clients here and then dinner here.

Seriously, we feel like we need to start investing in pants with elastic waistbands. or in a course that teaches us how to say no.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game

Some completely unrelated thoughts for you on this (now) rainy Tuesday afternoon...

  • Went out with CG the 1st and AT last night and while munching on some tasty slides here, we kept getting distracted because Breakin 2: Electric Bugaloo was playing on the wall directly in front of us. We must've seen Breakin 2 at least 50 times when we were young. Interestingly, we've never seen Breakin.
  • During lunch we hit a Tory Burch sample sale. Nothing says women and shoe sale better than the caution tape that the sales people were putting up every where. (we mean that non-sarcastically)
  • Wasting away our afternoon we've been listening to virgin as we tend to do and keane's everybody's changing came on. Three years later and we still love this song. go figure.

Monday, June 11, 2007

They’re tryin to make me go to rehab
I said no, no, no

Friday Night (How it could have happened):
5pm - Leave work (we love summer hours)
5:30 - Walk in our front door
5:35 -7pm Nap
8:00 - Arrive at friend's Birthday BBQ in Brooklyn
8:01-10:00 - Enjoy good food and friends have a beer (ok, who are we kidding, 2 beers)
10:45 - Arrive home and get decent night's sleep which we have so desperately needed after the past two weeks of total drunken debauchery

Friday Night (How it really happened):
4:35 - Co-Workers/Friends accost us to let is know that we're headed to Hooters for some kick-off the weekend beer and wings
5:10 - Meet said co-workers (promise ourselves one pitcher and then we're out - so we can still make it to said BBQ in Bk)
8:45 (and 5 pitchers later) - head to the gap so gaybie co-worker can buy some new threads for the evening since we're gonna take him out
9:45 - Crack open Sparks and Drink while we change and get ready to go out
10:30 - Meet Double G and her friends at Stanton Social for another drink and some good convo
12:43 - Arrive at Boys Room. Promptly have two more drinks and a SoCo Lime shot. Enjoy the insanity of the "Hot Ass" competition. Saw waaaay more than ass
2:00 - Head to the Phoenix. Get stopped on the way (tough how the two bars are next door) by cute chick who loves our necklace. spend twenty minutes on the street talking.
2:20 - enter the phoenix, have two more drinks.
3:00 - want to call it a night. while standing on the street get approached by cute boy (CB) who wants a smoke. immediately decide to go back into the phoenix and have another drink so CB and gaybie can get cozier.
3:45 - Begin walk home escorted by CB and Gaybee.
4:30 - Fall asleep
8:30am (sat morning)- wake up still drunk

so much for detox.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Hello God Its Me Vodka

so last night a rep of ours took us and RJL to see Chelsea Handler at Caroline's.eds. note: the last time we were at caroline's was to see Janeane Garofolo way back in the day. We laughed so hard we almost busted a gut. Really, she was much funnier than we had anticipated.

this comes on the tailend of another crazy booze filled week that included another softball loss and another resounding flipcup win (apparently we're much better at this game than orginally anticipated); dinner at mermaid inn with one of our favorite reps; finding a spot for our upcoming dance party; and assorted other blurry moments that we'd love to share if we remembered them better.

we're seriously considering detox. if only because it means that we can retox soon.