Bitter Cynical Rants from One as Snarky as Waldorf and As Sexy as Statler.

Monday, October 30, 2006

The taste of love is sweet
when hearts like our's meet

ok so according to Trent, who is always right, it seems that Reese Whiterspoon and Ryan Philippe are getting a divorce. This is sad, because we here at VTB loved them as a couple and frankly they have some of the cutest kids, this side of orphanages in Malawi. But, on the other hand, now that Reese is single, could someone pass our fearless editor's number along??? We've always been smitten. In fact, she can take her rightful place over yonder on the right under the muse heading. Call us Reese, we'll help you get through these tough times.

Going back to Cali Boston

well we're back and well rested from our weekend up in beantown with the RJL, the ESL and the Lainey G. In case you're new to our humble site, or have forgotten, or could care less, we spent two years in the little burg of boston in grad school... shortly after our return, we had to write a letter to this city on the charles. and hadn't been back since we became a master.

We headed up friday morning. Lainey G made excellent time. We headed straight into harvard square. We had lunch here. We headed back to the hotel. We complained because they messed up our reservation. We got our breakfasts in the hotel comped. We went to the bar that tossed me for my yankee loving ways back in the day to meet up with sister mary kate. She had the brilliance to notice that with JT's new twitchy ways and bizzare speech patterns during interviews that he may be a little strung out. She said, Justin is the New Whitney. HAH! We want a TShirt that says that! We may even start selling them! We parted ways. We met back up with the twins and lainey. We went to the BU Student Union. We were clearly the only people in the room old enough to buy beer legally. We went to catch this here little tour. Of course if you ask us at VTB and the Red Twin, there's only so much chick music for boys that we can take before we feel like we're stuck in a Zach Braff movie but without the benefit of either Natalie Portman, Rachel Bilson or Jacinda Barrett...

Saturday. We were slated to go to the eagles game. It was torrentially downpouring and there were hurricane winds. We hit three different bars to try and find the game. It was to no avail. BC won. They covered the 36 point spread. ESL made our cabby laugh by using the word pussy. We bowled here. We won the first game. We fell to Dr. Evvy in round two. Harrumph. We don't like to lose. We went shopping in copley. We got electronically massaged by both twins and a dolphin all at the same time. We showered. We headed to the North End for our pseudo date with our pseudo boyfriend. We ate here. It was one of the best meals we've had in a while. We met up with Dr. Ev and Lainey G here. We had terrible service. We complained. We got all of our drinks and dessert comped. We checked out. We complained of poor service. We got our parking comped. Lainey almost ran over RJL.We walked in the Boston Garden and Commons. Here we are:
These boots were made for walkin
Our Pseudo Boyfriend
We walked up Newbury Street. Virgin was closing so we spent little money and bought this, this, this and this. We wanted a cupcake. We were duped by this place. We had to settle for ice cream, so we had the best. Here we are enjoying ice cream:
mmm.... ice cream
We were happy campers. We went home. We had a wonderful weekend.

photos courtesy of RJL, to see the rest of his photos from the weekend. Just click HERE

Thursday, October 26, 2006

you say it best when you say nothing at all

seriously. sometimes we really love our unemployed status. yes, we have very limited funds. yes, we spend the majority of our day glaring at breastfeeding mothers at the over-priced coffee shop while scouring the internets for jobs. yes, sometimes we go several hours without hearing the sound of our voice. yes, we're generally bored as hell. but...

this morning we were home to watch the view. now normally, this is hit or miss television, we love love love it when rosie tells guests how wrong they are. especially when its a segment involving how to make healthy kids lunches creatively, and she tells the "expert" that the ideas will never work. but today, oh today, we turned the program on to find that none other than (wait for it, wait for it.....) TARA REID was the guest co-host. now seriously, who the hell gets to decide who the guest co-hosts for this program are? We want to shake their hands, send them chocolates, flowers, and our phone number! This was a brilliant choice of casting as far as we're concerned.... she spent the first fifteen minutes of the show explaining how terribly wrong her boob job went. with just the perfect amount of idiocy and drug addled behavior to remind everyone just how much of a boob she is. although, we think she was actually not drunk. so we give her a giant thumbs up for that one, we suppose.

had we had a job we would have missed this brilliant display of daytime television at its finest. sometimes its all worth it.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Take your time, hurry up
The choice is yours, don't be late
Take a rest as a friend as an old memoria

Kurt Cobain is the top selling dead celebrity. He outsold Elvis. Does this make anyone else feel old? Also, does anyone else find it amazing that people spend more money on Kurt Cobain/Nirvana merchandise than Dr. Seuss? Crazy.

we also can't wait for the craziness that is going to be tonight's episode of ANTM. We're not really sure what's going to happen, but if fabio is involved it must be fabulous. of course we're going to have to wait just a little while because we have another softball game tonight! hopefully this time we won't pull another hamstring.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Save the Cheerleader... Save the World

seriously Heroes may be our new favorite show. Okay it may be our new favorite Monday night show. Okay maybe not our new favorite Monday night show but its definitely up there with How I Met Your Mother (seriously have you ever read Barney's Blog? How much fun would writing that be?? and yes it became a favorite last season) and Studio 60 (they even had our favorite Gilmore guest star last night!)[eds. note - how many times do you think we could use favorite in one parpagraph??]... but we digress, this show is so much fun, we just sit on the edge of our seats waiting for Ali Larter's psycho self to turn up and kick ass and hope for felicity to make a guest appearance to tell Sean that if he could hear peoples thoughts we would've found out what was in Meghan's Box much sooner than we did! Go heroes... what fun!

speaking if TV and 6 minutes they are going to premiere the extended trailer for 24 HERE. I miss Jack Bauer in my life. Whoot! How's he gonna get out of China? We SO can't wait!!!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Dance Ten Looks Three

or rather we should say looks ten, dance three... yesterday we went to go see Marie Antionette with CMoss and Duane Reade. We loved the first hour or so of what started out as pure eye candy with a kickass soundtrack, then we got confused and aren't really sure of the point of the movie. The film itself was pretty, really really pretty - the food, the clothes, the shoes , oh my god the shoes! But frankly, we're not really sure that the cast (who were all very good, even though there wasn't nearly enough schwartzman for our personal liking, and that does include kiki who was surprisingly unwhiny!) had a script at all - there certainly wasn't a plot, or any character development or well, anything besides pretty. but sometimes pretty is good. i give this one a solid - eh. worth maybe a afternoon matinee ticket price (if they still do that where you live), but not the full 11.50...

we then snuck into The Illusionist. Totally the theater's fault - it was playing right next door and the start time was FIVE minutes after we walked out of our movie. they were just asking for people to do that. and they did - there were at least 15 people that walked right out of marie antionette and directly into the illusionist. We also felt just kind of blah about this one, with an ending we easily predicted (although that might have had something to do with the fact that we had just finished watching season 4 of 24 not two nights before, so staging death was on our minds), and drab, downer Austria as the background, we left, well, just kind of tired.

in other news:
  • our softball team did in fact win! Go Bea Arthur's Kids! (yep, thats the name of our team). Playoffs here we come! (I mean is it really important that we won because the other team had to forfeit due to lack of players? We played them in a scrimmage when the rest of their team did finally show, and we won anyway)
  • went out with the HFT late saturday night... still wondering whether or not having her around is a good idea. if nothing else, the lies are always interesting.
  • didn't make it to art brut on thursday night due to the mets game! the mets game??? we're uncertain who we've become, but weren't really all that sad that they lost - its actually nice to watch a team play a game seven when you're not that invested... we've gotten ill too many times watching our boys play in do or die games.
  • heading to beantown this weekend with RJL, ESL and ESL's love to watch RJL's old school go head to head with mine... of course there's a 37 1/2 point spread on this one, so we're going to say GO EAGLES, obvs, but hopefully RJL's boys'll at least make a game out of it.

Monday, October 16, 2006

A bed to be made and a bed to lie in

We may or may not have told you (we're way to lazy to read our past posts) that your faithful unemployed VTB editor is planning her ten year high school reunion. we find this particularly entertaining news as she would never have been voted most spirited by any stretch of the imagination. We fear that this new found attachment to those things mid-90's has grabbed a hold of our editor, first the reunion, then the gin blossoms show last week, and now, this past friday she attended an indigo girls show with the good senor, the good senora, CousinAly, and a few others. We worry for her. Although she did promise that she wasn't going to be shaving her head again anytime soon, and the green backpack that was permanently attached to her back during those years was burned.

In other news, we went apple picking with the LJBster, who was playing hookey. Here's our fearless editor, handing down an apple from the tree she climbed:
who wants an apple?

Here's the LJBster showing off our loot:
How cute is the LJBster?

And here's the tree we hid our apples in so we would have them all winter:
mmm more apples

my, we certainly have been picture happy since our return to regular blogging!

now we have all of these apples. so we will be making an apple pie, and an apple brown betty, and apple sauce, and maybe, just maybe, some mulled apple cider.

we should have done it this weekend, but we were stuck on a couch in jerzcity watching some really bad movies with some really good people, namely, CMoss and Duane Reade. And then we got sucked into the mets game last night. WHOOT! go metropolitans! whew knew we'd be rooting for the other New York ball club?

So expect more posts and pics this week, of pies, of a hopeful celebration after our softball team wins tonight and clinches a playoff berth, of the fish fry at mermaid inn on wed., of art brut (who we're happily seeing at Irving on thurs. 'specially since spinto band is opening), and of a karaoke party with some old friends on sat... kickass we say. kick. ass.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

it's time we saw a miracle
come on it's time for something biblical

I had this very long bitter post planned about how much the yankees suck, about how i could find 24 friends who would happily share 220 million dollars with me to strike out, commit fielding errors and laugh about it on the bench.

but then i found out yesterday that a friend of mine from college died suddenly. and ranting about the yankees just doesn't seem that important today. She isn't the first person who was my age that i know that has died suddenly. In fact, unfortunately I've known quite a few, and every time it shocks me the same way. So young at 12. So young at 17. So young at 22. So young at 24. So young at 27. So we here at VTB wanted to take a time out from our normally scheduled programming and say:

Rest in Peace Faust. You will be missed.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Anywhere you go, Ill follow you down
Anyplace but those I know by heart

yeppers so last night was almost as awesome as i thought it would be (for all $.75 the tix cost).

we got to the theater early to revel in the vocal styings of shawn mullins. i think i may have fallen asleep before he sang that lullaby song. here are the good senor and his wife arguing the merits of mr. mullins and whether or not he did actually ever headline his own tour.:

"no really, shawn mullins headlined at least club tours"
"yeah, not sure I believe you either,":

and then came the moment of glory. those blossoms hit the stage and played almost everything we wanted to hear. the lead singer, was even funny enough to note that he only gets hired if he will guarantee the playing of hey jealousy. here he is, singing that same song:

and here are a few more shots of me,esl, rjl, the good senor and senora karaoking right along with the band:

and then it was off to virgil's for some hush puppies and a fried catfish po boy. of course not before we ran into my old boss from this place , who fingers crossed will be exactly the help we need in finding a new job. good times my friends, good times.


Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Tomorrow we can drive around this town and let the cops chase us around

so we couldn't not shout it from the rooftops that we are going to see the GIN BLOSSOMS tonight with RJL and ESL and LJB and the good senor and his senora... who knows how to party like its 1995???** no we're not kidding.

admit it. you're jealous.

the past is definitely gone, but something still might be found to take its place!

**actually RJL, ESL, LJB and I did actually see the gin blossoms together in 1995. it was a double bill with dishwalla. it cost ten bucks. it was worth every penny.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Volare, oh oh
E contare, oh oh oh oh
Nel blu, dipinto di blu

What a long strange weekend its been... Friday night the good brother and his new wife and i headed to little italy because the senor was convinced that the san genarro festival was still going on. alas, it was not, but while eating mediocre chicken marsala at umberto's we were treated to the vocal stylings of ernie barry(how unfortunate we can't find a link to this guy anywhere on the web, but we really really would like to implore you to go down there on a friday night to check this guy out - and don't forget to tip your waitress!), and well the senora being the senora, of course joined in and sang a couple of numbers with the guy and his keyboard. no seriously, she grabbed the mic and sang such standards as "all of me". it was totally awesome and impromptu. good times.

then saturday it was off to the financial district for an oyster festival. yum. oysters. here's amy proudly displaying our oysters:

and here's me slurping away on said oysters:

it was an oyster-y good time... after a quick nap we headed back out to meet cmoss and the boxer for more drinks and more drinks and more drinks... so many drinks in fact that i the boxer couldn't even lift her drink, but had to instead sip from the drink while it sat on the bar. no seriously. here's proof:

at some point in the night we went outside for and our favorite bartender left a note next to our drinks instructing people to only slip something in them if they were cute. this led to many discussions with some very cute people. some of whom we ran into last night when we went out with the HFT (yes, we know we said we'd make no mention of her... long story, no time). Trouble ensued as it always does after imbibing quite a few protein shakes. and boy-o am i feeling this weekends effects as i sit here and try not to think about food as i am fasting and atoning for my sins today. if you're doing the same have an easy fast. can't wait to eat my bagels and lox tonight!!!