Bitter Cynical Rants from One as Snarky as Waldorf and As Sexy as Statler.

Friday, May 27, 2005

siesta, fiesta

The editors of VTB will be on sabbatical until thursday june 2nd. enjoy your holiday weekend.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Funny how your feet in dreams never touch the earth

So I'm sure you're all here wondering how my date was last night. Well, let's just say it wasn't. In the continuing fashion of the universe toying with my emotions like I'm a Duncan Yo-Yo, three hours before I was supposed to sign my lease (Sunday's signing had to be postponed), my future ex-roommate called to tell me that the check she had deposited into her account wasn't going to clear until June 4th and decided that it was too much money anyway and she wasn't going to sign the lease. Seriously people, who does something like this? 7 days before I have to be out of my apartment? Three Hours before lease signing? 3000 dollars worth of cashier's checks in my back pocket? SO not cool.

But I digress. The point is that I had to cancel on the Officer last night because I had to resume the apartment search ASAP. The good news? The broker that we were working with, in a feat of glory, lined up 4 studios for me to look at, all on great blocks, all within earshot of what I can affford. So - I found the most Fabulous apartment, was able to negotiate the rent down, was approved, and am signing the lease on Saturday. And i'll be continuing to live alone so I don't have to deal with the utter flakiness and dishonesty of other people who in 2005 just continue to disappoint me.

Hence, no date. BUT apartment disaster diverted. phew.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Fitter, Happier, More Productive....No Chance of Escape, Now Self Employed

I've been asked many times by many different people over the past couple of months about my decision involving my most recent career change. "Andrea," they say "Why spend all of that money on culinary school only to turn around, go back to school and start teaching in the fall?" I had anticipated the asking of this question so much that I didn't tell anyone (save 2 people) that I had applied for the teaching fellows program until after I had been accepted. I had a plan.

The plan: Apply to teaching fellows program. Acquire MA in education without accruing any more debt. Start teaching. Have my summers off. Use those summers off to go be someone's personal chef at their compound on the hamptons/martha's vineyard/nantucket/the cape/ etc... sublet my apartment for said summers. Gain double salary while doing two things that I love.

I begin my training with the teaching fellows immanently. So, the first half of the plan has paid off. Now for the second part. Do you remember a while ago I was hired to cater a private dinner party? Well the person who hired me has just hired me again. AS HER PERSONAL CHEF. 4 dinners per week to be dropped off on Sunday nights. Thank you Universe! I get to continue to hone my skills. I get paid a good amount of money to do it. I will have a great reference for those summers upcoming. I can tell the catering company to shove it once and for all.

To recap:
1. get started on that 4th degree - check!
2. accrue no more debt - check!
3. teach elementary school in brooklyn - check!
4. get great private chef gig - check!
5. make enough money to actually begin saving - check!
6. have a plan and make it work (even though people thought you were crazy) - check!

its all coming together people. its all coming together.

Friday, May 20, 2005

the past is gone but something might be found to take its place

Damned you Alex and your Fleur De Mals! One word, two syllables - HUNGOVER.

Things to note:
1. I have an apartment! We're signing the lease on Sunday. Major life changing to-do list is now complete. By the end of June I will be in a new apartment and working at a new job.
2. Remember the NYPD officer from the boat? I have a pseudo-date on Tuesday night. (Rule #4 has been broken). Will I blog about it anyway? Hells yes.
3. I have been hired to bake another Birthday Cake . This is starting to become a semi-lucrative side career. .
4. Speaking of lucrative side careers. The catering company I used to bartend for has hired me as a chef. More money! No more dealing with annoying guests! No more tuxedos! And I still get to pick my jobs.
5. First Uchenna and Joyce! Then Tom! Now Naima! Thank you reality TV gods for finally picking the right people to win. I could have only been happier if it was Stephenie instead of Tom.
6. Jack and Bobby has been cancelled. This makes me sad.
7. What I Like About You has been picked up for another season. More Bynes. This makes me happy.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

If it looks like it works and it feels like it works then it works...

ahem.. i have an announcement.

"Free Snow Patrol/Athlete ticket available for Friday's show at Roseland - female looking for female date, only serious applicants respond"

heh. rather, I have an extra ticket. who wants to go?

Thursday, May 12, 2005

everything looks perfect from far away

thanks y'all for all of your advice on how to get the smell of onions off of my hands. Baking soda and water did the trick. Who knew?

Not that in the end it mattered. Want to hear about the set-up? You know where to go [HERE].

In other news, lunch went very well and I now have a partner in crime to go apartment hunting with! Step one out of the way.

I wish I had something more interesting to say, but alas thats all i got right now.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

When there was nothing, there was always the possibility of something, becoming what it is

Well, well, well.

Today brings with it the endless possibilities that exist and I get to enjoy this potential with food and beverage, I mean come on now, what's better than that?

The possibilities: First off, I have a lunch today with a prospective roommate. A friend of LjBs who is looking in the same neighborhood, can afford exactly what I can, and seems to be generally an all around good person. If lunch goes well the apartment search will re-commence (hopefully with better results than so far) immediately.

And then drinks/dinner. A set-up, with a woman who actually sounds pretty damned good (and amazingly, also a friend of LjBs - I mean is this girl looking out or what? Clap your hands everybody - Clap your hands and say yeah!). Although as we all know, on paper and in reality can be two very different things. So we'll see. Keep them fingers crossed.

Also some other things to note:
- Thank you Yankees for being able to actually win three in a row, you're starting to look like a baseball team, instead of my little league softball team that I played on in the 2nd grade with the same name.
- Tonight is the season finale of Amazing Race - Are Amber and Rob really going to take another Million dollars? I can't wait. Thank you DVR for allowing me to watch whenever I get home tonight.
- Last night at the restaurant I had to small dice an entire case of onions (for a black bean soup) and no matter what i do I can't seem to get the onion smell off my hands. Ive tried the lemon, the metal, and a whole lot of soap. Any suggestions? Lord knows I can't go out tonight smelling like an onion. Help a Sista out.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Comme Ci, Comme Ca.

Dear Universe,

I find your ways strange and mysterious. After writing that post last week which mirrored my feelings of sadness, loss, and pain (NOT fear), I was contacted yet again by the ex (who, btw, someone has dubbed Suffokate) and in a series of emails and one phone call (in which she hung up on me) it became clear to me (yet again, although in moments of weakness I forget) just how different she has become from the person I fell in love with. I was reminded again of how much hurt she caused me. Having coffee with her? Not a chance, at least for another year or two.
But I did have a fabulous brunch w. Mrs. Robinson - its been a while since I made someone breakfast and we had quite a lovely time. She has become in a short time a good friend. Theres something here about doors and windows and opening one.
Ok, so Universe maybe your ways aren't as mysterious as I originally thought. But still, the Lauren Graham look-alike ar Barbes last night? Gimme a sign about whats going to happen with that one!

All the best,


Wednesday, May 04, 2005

i am a china shop and you are a bull

As I mentioned in my last post, I ran into she-who-will-not-be-named on Sunday. It was a horrible experience mostly because my immediate gut reaction was to move as quickly as possible, to be as far away from the situation as humanly possible. I blurted out a "Hey, How Are You?" and didn't stop for an answer (in fact, i think my pace picked up quite a bit) and then immediately had to go and sit down with my head between my legs so nauseous and upset from the encounter.

It totally pains me that I have (had?) known her for almost 9 1/2 years and this is what's left, near nothingness. She was such an intimate part of my life and has had such a huge impression on the person that I've turned out to be and now I can't even stop to hear how she is. I feel like I'm torn between wanting to meet her for coffee and knowing that I have no idea what to say. Should I just continue to run or should I sit and meet this head on? Thoughts?

Monday, May 02, 2005

Sparks and Good ideas:

this weekend was once again a rollercoaster of events, mostly highs - death from above at bowery, afternoon wine at inoteca, helping a certain friend purchase a certain new toy, and catching up on most of my tv watching, but a notable low when we ran into she-who-shall-not-be-named yesterday afternoon.

In the midst of all of these events, we were partying with some dear dear friends on Saturday night and after having been challenged earlier in the evening and drinking the requisite number of sparks the four of us made a pact and a plan and a blog was born. HERE it is. enjoy.