Bitter Cynical Rants from One as Snarky as Waldorf and As Sexy as Statler.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

I go out walking after midnight
Out in the moonlight just like we used to do

As you know, we here on the VTB editorial staff usually use this blog space as a way to either vent about our personal lives (I don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it), or about what happened on last night's ANTM (Holy god how can one person be on the phone for 3 and a half freaking hours, and although we ony knew you briefly, we'll miss you Megan) and don't even get us started on P-RUN (all FOUR of you to fashion week, really??), and sometimes we rant about our yankees and over-paid A-ROD, even occasionally we spout our opinions on bands we think you should see (anyone want to join us and LJB to see The Hold Steady at Irving on Sunday, the listening party last night just didn't do enough for us or me and the boxer at She Wants Revenge show in November?), and of course we use this space to talk about food, food and more food, but rarely and we mean RARELY do we ever use this space as a way of spreading the good word or asking for your help, so bare with us as we make a foray into this field...

a few months ago, we told you about a night out we had with Mr. B when he was in from SF, but what we left out is that in our poor and drunk space we were kind of stuck in Tribeca with 3 dollars in our pocket at 3 in the morning... not wanting to take the subway alone home to the ghetto, we flagged a cab who so kindly took us all the way home without turning on his meter (we of course got his info and sent him the fare and a nice tip later), not everyone gets so lucky. this is why you should donate your ducats or volunteer your time to RIGHTRIDES... this wonderful organization provides safe free rides to women and transgendered folk late at night and to some sketchy ass neighborhoods, making sure everyone gets home without injury!!!! Check them out! Help them out! These are the kinds of things we here at VTB proudly stand behind (heh, we said behind!)

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

If only I don't suffocate, i'll meet you on the other side

Recovering from the weekend with the folks. You'd think by the time you were 27 years old going home wouldn't be something that causes your chest to collapse, your ego to sink and your general demeanor shift to depression. Too bad for us it still means feeling like we're 14 again. But we've had some reasdjustment time and we're back and ready to resurface into the world, phew.

So if you've been keeping your fingers crossed for us as we traverse our job hunt, please keep em crossed for a little while longer. We had our second interview yesterday with an up and coming firm that would mean a giant step up for us in a number of ways (even though there is a large part of selling out invovled, but screw it, we don't need to impress or prove anything to anyone and we'd be happy with a career and a good paying desk job these days, not to mention the bank account that comes with that, so sue us!)

If that doesn't work out, we heard Trader Joe's is hiring. Do you think they give discounts to employees on their three buck chuck???

we have to tell you, sitemeter is the best thing in the world, we love being able to keep track of how people have gotten to our humble little site (apparently were HUGE in the phillipines) and can even tell what companies people who are reading are working for. it allows us to know that we're being oddly stalked from people in our past. go figure. especially since we're pretty certain some of these people didn't like us when we knew them we're curious about their continued interest in our lives.

Speaking of our lives, tonight we're headed to our new favorite (along with the rest of the world) bar in the slope, Union Hall for The Hold Steady's listening party. Maybe afterwards we'll play a mean game of bocce with the Stengler and LJB. Hard to say.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

one more thing

so way back in may, CG and I got into an argument over who had the best burger in the city. We went back and forth between Burger Joint and Shake Shack for hours, with me throwing in the fact that Corner Bistro has the best burger below 14th street. We couldn't convince each other of burger superiority. Thus began the great burger off of 2006. Last month joined by the muppet we hit in one night all 3 spots. We each took different routes of determining best burger, i opted for each spots burger specialty (the works @ the joint, the shack burger @ shake shack and of course the bistro burger, which includes both bacon and cheese @ corner bistro), CG opted for the plain burger at each place. We started at the joint and worked our way south. Here's my burger from the joint:

We hit the shake shack (not a moment to soon might I add as the next morning I saw a report on just how badly the shake shack failed their health inspection), here was my uninspired burger from the shack:

we then hit corner bistro, i have no picture because i was concentrating to hard on eating their meatyh monstrosity with my belly already full of two burgers. I was sweating, but we got much kudos from the boys at the table nex to ours who couldn't quite believe we were able to eat that much.

When all was said and done Burger Joint won! Huzzah! But this was only round one. Next we plan on hitting the spotted pig, blue nine and peter luger's. The winner of that round will take on Burger Joint for the ultimate title. Although there was talk of three initial rounds and a final round of the three winning burgers. thoughts on a third round? everyone in NY seems to have an opinion of the best burger. we are sticking to under ten dollars (the DB Burger can't be compared to the burger joint?) and no franchises ( i don't care how good fatburger is). so if you have an opinion, throw it in, we'd love to hear what you have to say!

there's no need to throw a cock block when i'm trying to get laid...

Rocking! Three posts in one week, its a whole new era here at VTB!!!

First things first... What are you doing tonight? Watching the premiere of Grey's Anatomy? Washing your hair? Frankly, I don't care what your plans are, cancel them. You need to go down to Don Hill's tonight at 10pm. Why you ask? Because GUYZ NITE is playing and really they put on one of the most entertaining shows i've ever seen. seriously. what other band do you know has written a song that is the synopsis of all three die hard movies, and has a lead singer who shotguns beers on stage. totally freaking awesome. be there. you know i will!

secondly, we only briefly made mention of the brother's wedding to muppet labor day weekend. we should continue to say that it was (in our totally unbiased opinion) the best wedding we've ever been to! Wanna see some pictures. Go Here to see Courtney's photos (careful they're in reverse order, starting with brunch on Sunday), or you can go Here to see Lindsay's pictures, or you can go here to see Alex's pics of the rehearsal dinner... seriously

lastly, the other night we had drinks with AJHammer, a friend from high school that we haven't seen in 8 1/2 years. It was a totally amazing thing to reconnect with someone that we knew when we were nothing but a little pissant... this summit was caused by the fact that we have been spending hours of our unemployed days organizing our ten year high school reunion. strange, mostly because we were pretty indifferent during our high school years. regardless, the reunion is fast approaching and we alternate between total excitement and total nausea. if you're reading this and were at rhs with us and graduated in '96 drop us a note, we'll get you an invite to the party...

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Take Me Out Tonight, where there's music and there's people...

Typical Day of the unemployed VTB editor:

5:45 am - wake up when my roommate grinds her morning coffee, grumble slightly, roll over and fall back asleep
8:00 am - wake up again to the sounds of screaming children from the school yard across the street from my apartment. give up on trying to sleep any later.
8:01-9:00 - turn on TV, watch an hour of the today show, wonder aloud who ever thought it was a good idea to give Al Roker any sort of air time and question repeatedly the appeal of Matt Lauer (i just don't get it people!)
9:00-10:00 - watch Regis and Kelly while I do crunches, push-ups and make coffee. Worry that as each minute passes I lose more and more brain cells. curse the fact that i can no longer afford cable and am reduced to this drivel.
10:00-11:00- switch back and forth between Martha and Rachael Ray, can't decide who I hate more, but can't get myself to turn away either. Wonder how Rachael Ray gets paid to do what she does.
11:00-11-23 Watch the View. Stare with rapt amazement at how Rosie O'Donnell has completely taken over the show. Get completely disgusted with myself and my housewife ways and head towards the shower to begin the day.
11:23-12:06 Shower,get dressed, feed cats and leave apartment.
12:25- Order skim chai latte from over priced local coffee shop with free wi-fi.
12:28-3:00 - sit with laptop and search for jobs. write cover letters.
3:00- have enough torture for one day. gouge eyes out.

yep people, it's getting that sad.

in other news though. watched the premiere of Studio 60 last night. What a brilliant effin show that was, no??

Monday, September 18, 2006

back with a vengance

ok. so for those of you still looking at the site, you should be glad to hear that I'm back, it was a long hiatus i know. the summer was filled with recharging the batteries and attending the weddings of some of our closest friends and our older brother who finally tied the knot with the muppet. we continue to wish nothing but nachas for those two!!!

some quick things to note before i get into last night's premiere of Amazing Race...

first of all this is the last mention of HFT on the site. we here at VTB have little to no respect for pathological liars, especially those that attempted to pull on our heart strings. vaio con dios. make sure the door don't hit ya... and don't leave a forwarding address.

secondly, remember the italian jew comedian i mentioned a while back? he's off to LA to film a pilot! good luck!!

now wish us some luck as we took the Who Wants to Be A Millionaire test last week (they are going to be doing a whole week specifically on pop culture) and passed... now its all up to the casting directors...

we are no longer teaching. so we feel human again. this is a nice change of life for us as we no longer feel we are wasting away in east new york.

as for other dating news, there's none - as we said to RJL last week, we're as dry as unbuttered rye toast!

ok now that thye update is out of the way can we talk amazing race!

what an unbelievable compilation of teams! way to go! Seriously observant muslims! cute south indian couple! oh wait let's kick them both off before the first hour is up!

oh well at least we still have the prosthetic legged triathelete! beauty queens! AND ex-drug addict models! (twist!!! the models are BOYS!!).. all this and a kentucky coalminer. you've done it again Amazing Race. i'm hoooked. nice job... its not like i have anything better to do with my time...