Bitter Cynical Rants from One as Snarky as Waldorf and As Sexy as Statler.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Salvation is killing me

So we rarely mix business with pleasure (eds. note: in the real world we actually do that all the time) on this site, but we have to break the barrier for a minute to rant about something we find quite upsetting. For YEARS now we have stood by televisionwithoutpity as one of our all time favorite sites. So much so that when we found out that it was actually started by a friend's sister and finally met her, we may have gushed a bit, and we're not the gushing type, except maybe for the one time we met david bowie, but thats another conversation for another time...

So about a year ago now, this little site that could, was bought by NBCUniversal, and we cheered a little bit, happy that the site was going to make money to do what it does best. We even championed for it at our little day job, and were able to give the site a nice amount of coin from a major retailer for advertising. And initially, minus a little advertising here and there nothing about the site changed at all. We were happy, and thankful that some large media conglomerate did the right thing and didn't mess with the formula.

The women who started the site left a few weeks ago, and we here at VTB were personally promised that nothing would change, that we wouldn't miss their presence. They sadly lied. (although we don't believe it was their fault).

The site has had a major overhaul and redesign and even though the recappers are doing their thing in exactly the same way, the site is too...well...slick. We're now keenly aware that this is a corporate media site, and we don't want to get our snarky tv recaps from people that work for a broadcasting company. Its wrong, its corporate, and it has destroyed this wonderful site. They fucked with the formula and we feel like we're reading entertainment weekly and thats the exact opposite of what we enjoyed about this site.

We ask you NBCUni to change it back, we know we're only one reader, but we were everyday loyal and now we've been forced to reduce our daily dose of unadulterated snark recaps, TVGasm and Midseason Replacements are our only hopes.

RIP TWOP. This is a sad day for us at VTB.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

All of a sudden, my vision became so clear.
Everything I needed was right here,

We were just sitting here wondering, what kind of day must one have to make it accepatble to be eating bottle caps for lunch (at 5:22pm no less)? And by bottle caps we mean the old school candy, not the bottle caps from water bottles that are also always strewn on our desk.

We were also wondering if its socially acceptable to admit our love for the Day 26 album?

Thats all.

Monday, March 31, 2008

You cant concern yourself with bigger things
You catch the pearl and ride the dragons wings

Wow has it really been over a month? Should we be suprised at this point at our innate ability to sporadically post?

Regardless here's some random thoughts and updates for you from us here at VTB:

1. Opening Day is finally here! Shame the boys in pinstripes got rained out, we can wait another day, thanks to the fact that we're headed to the rangers game in 15 minutes

2. We had one of the most awesome Festival weeks ever (It was the Fearless Editor's Birthday a few weeks ago, but due to the coinciding of this massive event with JC's resurrection (and no we don't mean JC Chasez, although we will speak of his resurrection in a second!) celebrations were delayed. Once they began they wound up taking us to Morimoto, Mas (farmhouse), And a most kickass party sponsored by the expense accounts of some amazing reps and DJ'd by the bossman. No extra charge for 15 shots of SoCo, locked bathroom doors, Kid N Playing with Thursty, and almost geting in a fight with some people who work upstairs from us.

3. America's Best Dance Crew = America's Best Reality Show. Seriously that show kicked ass. We are anxiously awaiting its return.

4. JC Chasez and Chace Crawford. Can we please, please please make this rumor true? Nothing could be more awesome than that. Except for maybe us and Blake Lively. We just started that rumor, can someone make that true as well??

5. The NCAA tournament has kicked our ass. No new flatscreen and XBox for us, this means we have to stick to playing Rock Band at work. Although now that we've moved accounts, finally, we actually leave work at reasonable hours, and haven't been in on a weekend in over a month.

6. The back is almost healed, although we had a minor setback this weekend (See 2 above as to reasons why)

7.We're now going to be late to previously mentioned ranger game. We'd promise another post tomorrow. But we try to not make promisese we know we wont keep.


Thursday, February 28, 2008

What's love got to do with it

Dear Universe,

We have a bone to pick with you. We've told our fabulous readers this before, but Valentine's Day is a particularly unlucky day for us. There has been food poisoning, high ankle sprains, back spasms, cutting thumbs to need stitches, and 2nd degree burns. We've asked you repeatedly to leave us alone on this fine day. And knowing our bad relationship with this day of love, this year we even joked to the Gaybie the day before that if we were smart we should stay in bed.

So let us ask you, Universe, what kind of sick perverted sense of humor do you have? Because we dremt of staying in bed uninjured, you decided that we would wake up with so much back pain that we physically COULDN'T get out of bed? For 4 DAYS. We had to have Mrs. Robinson steal painkillers and bring us food. We had to crawl to the bathroom. We're sorry, but that's just wrong.

Its been two weeks, and we can still barely walk, barely sit and barely stand. At least after MRIs and XRays, we finally got our diagnosis: we have two bulging discs, a pinched nerve, spasming muscles, and we somehow have a hip bone that rotated itself out of position so the right side of ourpelvis is a full inch higher than the left. Thats not cool. Thats also a whole lot of pain.

As an alternative, we would officially like to request our own personal free pass next year, Universe. It would be perfectly fine with us to go from February 13th straight to February 15th. Make that happen.

Thank you!

The VTB Team

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

no one is to blame:

VTBEditor: theres nothing more that i love
VTBEditor: then when i make up words on the scrabble board
VTBEditor:and they turn out to be real words
TheGoodSenor: That's not a word
TheGoodSenor: don't care what the shitty Scrabulous dictionary says
VTBEditor:according to the crazy indian guys who developed scrabulous it is
VTBEditor:and thats all that matters

The word in question: Blueings

blue·ing (blōō'ĭng) n.
1. Any of various coloring agents used to counteract the yellowing of laundered fabrics.
2. A rinsing agent used to give a silver tint to gray or graying hair.

thank you and thank you scrabulous. 74 points.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

We in the car, we ride slow
We doin' things that the girls don't do

There are moments in our lives where we here at the VTB offices seriously get concerned about how we choose to spend our time when not at work. To be more precise, we are completely worried by the selection of TV we have been watching lately (or maybe its been always, we're not really sure exactly how much we feel like owning up to today). Regardless, we once used to feel like we watched bad reality television ironically. We would settle into the couch and flip back and forth between whatever real world/road rules challenge was currently on and the bachelor, thinking that we were somehow above the shows that we were watching. But now, most of our TV watching has been given over to this drivel. Yes, we still watch (and LOVE) Lost and 24 (if it ever comes back) and The Wire and Heroes, but we also currently have in our rotation, Project Runway, Celebrity Rehab, Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant, another RR/RW Challenge (The Gauntlet III, baby), Rock of Love with Brett Michaels II, and Make Me A Supermodel. And dont think we won't be watching Desperate Housewives of the OC, ANTM, and Top Chef when they come back on soon for another season.

BUT here's the real problem. Last night, after returning from the gym we sat down on the couch and settled in for another hour's worth of Making the Band 4. We so desperately want to hate this show. We have so desperately wanted to hate this show since waaay back when the band that was made was OTown (liquid dreams anyone?). And we are still watching. And we don't hate it. In fact, we kind of love it. And we can not get enough of it, we're simply delighted that its moved to the hour long format. we love puff, we love the boys, we love donny, we love danity kane. we are fully aware we have problems. but we are no longer going to fight it. we're just going to continue to put on our favorite sweats, pour a glass of wine, and enjoy every monday at ten. you're more than welcome to join us.

Friday, February 08, 2008

I'm trippin', I'm caught up in the moment right?
'Cause it's Louis Vuitton Don night

"No, no, no, its totally OK, she smells like sugar not like stripper" - Our Fearless editor last night at Flashdancers, after one too many glasses of champagne.

nuff said.