of all the exorcisms i've done with your ghosts, still it's sunday morning i miss you the most

man what a roller coaster of a weekend involving good friends, good food, great wine and the return of the sparks. Friday began with a return email from the soccer chick, sad to have missed me when I was in SanFran because she was in San Diego. Spent the rest of the day wondering whether emailing with her is a giant step forward or two huge leaps backward and if i should let this new development influence the already tipping scales in my decision to possibly move to SanFran.

[For those of you who don't know, soccer chick is the oh so young one I dated for 4 months when I was in Boston, who I broke it off with because it was getting too serious and I had to choose between falling in love with her and my love for the now-ex; seeing how things turned out maybe I didn't make the best decision]

Friday night, after seeing Inside Deep Throat I headed to do some serious wine drinking at 'inoteca which is quickly becoming a second home to me. Good times.

Saturday evening began with me walking to the subway, open sparks in hand, continued with a multitude of stoli o's and cranberrys and spanned three bars in three different neighborhoods. Also a whole lot of matchmaking going on. Finally, stumbled into my apartment at 5:30 am.

Then sunday hit like a ton of bricks. I've been doing a decent job keeping myself busy, distracting myself in all kinds of ways, but Sunday mornings more than any other time I miss her. I want to hate her, I really want to be over this, but i'm not. And sometimes its really raw. Sunday was one of those days.

its getting easier pretending its easier...

Ahh SanFran how do we love thee? Three days on the other coast has done wonders for our constitution. And although we missed Hilton-gate and the opportunity to call Lindsay Lohan, there was the actress from LA and the financial analyst with the fake boobies that more than made up for it. Besides the copious amounts of beautiful women the other things we loved about 'Frisco?

• In-n-out burger - sooo goood.


• Sausalito - so close, so beautiful


• The castro - who doesn't love bears?


• The headlands - we don't like dirt, but seriously could see ourselves hiking frequently


• the restaurants - what foodie wouldn't love this city?


• the vibe - it must be nice to go through the day without feeling that everything needed to be done 5 minutes ago


• the weather - do we really need to even talk about this one?

In fact, we here at Voices from the Balcony loved Cali so much we're contemplating picking up and shipping our entire operation 3000 miles across the country. The only thing it seems standing between us and the city by the bay is a pending job opportunity which is worthwhile enough to keep us here. we'll of course keep you posted on any decisions that may or may not be made.

Don't miss us too much

Alright friends of VTB, we are headed to SanFran for a mini-holiday. Will be back on wednesday with stories of debauchery, drunkenness and soccer chicks. We were told last night that young girls are the new pink. In the meantime check out some of the links we've taken the trouble to compile for you on the right.

Godspeed.

Trading Up

For those of you keeping track, I made it through Valentine's day mostly unscathed, just a second degree burn on my inside wrist courtesy of the convection oven in my class. There was no hospitalization required, so at least things are starting to turn around slightly.

In other news, if the rumors are true, then it seems as though the time is right for me to get an upgrade. Be gone shattered heart - Version 2.0 is now in NYC and free.

take it... take another little piece of my heart

Last night I fell in love with Joss Stone.

So as I've told you before Valentine's Day and I don't get along. It's not an emotional thing and frankly I've never cared much about the holiday one way or the other, but here's hoping that a broken heart will keep any bones from breaking today. I'm a little worried I might accidentally chop a finger off in class tonight. Wish me luck.

So take your empty words,your broken promises and all the time you stole cause I am done with this

**Apartment update: now not only is she taking household goods (and leaving her clothes), but the other night I came home to find out that she had been lounging on the couch, watching my television (oh DVR, thank you for letting me know when programs of yours have been watched), eating a piece of my leftover cake from a party that I had on sunday and leaving dirty dishes in my sink. Didn't think I ran a lounge out of my living room, did you?

On the brighter side, my oh so wonderful colleagues have informed me that they are going to be throwing me a house re-warming party. Man, do these women rock or what?!?

It only hurts when I breathe

could someone please tell thebitch woman who i used to date that its inappropriate for her to call me at work?

isn't it hard enough that i have to come home late at night and have no idea what might be gone? maybe today she'll take the couch that we bought together, or the silverware we bought together.

oh and don't try to call me on my home phone anymore. she disconnected that.

pleasant, isn't she?

I wonder how I bought all the lies. You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time

Breaking up with someone unexpectedly is ugly. Breaking up with someone you live with unexpectedly is even uglier. Breaking up withs someone you live with who for all intents and purposes spent the last six months of your relationship lying to you is about as ugly as it gets. I'm sure this comes as no shock.

I return four nights a week at 11pm to an apartment that noone is waiting for me in. I've slowly begun to get used to it, even the fact that before I get home, she returns to the apartment to retrieve things.

There are the things that are expected: fewer clothes in the closet, some cds missing from their racks, the newspaper has stopped showing up on the doorstep.

But then there are the other things that you'd never think of, like for instance, nail clippers, which I had to go out and purchase on saturday. Yep, you read that correctly, nail clippers. Sounds silly, yes? yes, very silly indeed. But now I begin to wonder if everything that was shared, the one litter box we have for both cats, the shower curtain, the door mat will all disappear one by one while I'm at class. Its as if anything that was once deemed "ours" has magically transformed into "hers". The good news is that there is one thing she can't take away from me, which is my sheer and pure hatred for her.

The other good news is I have new nail clippers. Now I just need a new couch.

to hell with you and all your friends

all right folks, we've picked ourselves up by the collars of our shirts, we've brushed the dirt off our shoulders and we've returned, complete with new template.

as you can see, some things have changed around here, we've gotten rid of the ipod ten and replaced it with the albums that are getting heavy spins, we've added a reading section so you can check out what book were using as armor on the train, and we've added a ton of links. it seems as though we've managed to lose all the comments. apologies, they will remain forever in our hearts even if they no longer exist here.

so welcome us back with open arms, we expect to revive the dwindling cynicism that used to appear with such gusto - welcome to the new chapter... Expect some serious snark tomorrow.

- The Hardened Voices from the Balcony Team -