Bitter Cynical Rants from One as Snarky as Waldorf and As Sexy as Statler.

Monday, February 20, 2006

I got a gnome in the backyard

the continued trials and tribulations of having a broken dvr box continued on friday night, when your cute and lovable (but not so bright) vtb editor, having had one sparks already, thought that the most brilliant way to unscrew the coax cables (having spent 15 minutes looking for the pliers before realizing that they probably reside with the ex now) was to use my incredibly expensive and incredibly sharp kitchen shears, which by the handle have an area that resembles pliers. I'm sure you all can see where this is going so to make a long story short, i spent two hours in the emergency room on friday night so i could get one stitch in my right hand. seriously. one stitch. how stupid can one person be? (you know what, don't answer that)...

the cable guy cant come fast enough (ewww, dirty!).

you'll notice to the right there, i've made some updates. what i've been listening to, what i've been reading and a damned hot picture of the new muse. see, change is in the air round these parts.

Friday, February 17, 2006

i got a love jones for your body and your skin tone

whoa, okay someone needs to seriously smack me upside the head and hard. its bad enough that i have a crush -the likes of which i haven't seen since I was about eighteen - but now i've been convinced by said crush to work three days next week IN THE MIDDLE OF MY VACATION... seriously people, i'm now doing some very stupid things for someone i'm not even getting any from. this is a cry for help. snap me out of it...

i came home last night after a trip to virgin to pick up the test-icicles and we are scientists cds (both of which rock pretty hard in my humble opinion) to find my beloved DVR box (heh, heh, box) broken. heartbroken, i called time warner who informed me that they cannot come to fix the problem until next wednesday. so now not only have i lost this week's episodes of project runway, lost, one tree hill, american idol, grey's anatomy and the l word which i haven't seen yet, i also lost all of the shows i had saved in the past (including my brother's episode of millionaire) and so much for tonight's episode of instant star. how is a friday night supposed to be jumpstarted without Alexz Johnson? so sad. so very sad.

anyone want to invite me over? i'll bring the sparks!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

how do i get you alone?

well so here it is, tomorrow is valentine's day, and if you've been a long time reader of vtb you know that february 14th has been a particularly unlucky day in the life of our fearless editor. as always we're thinking about calling in sick hiding away, especially now that there's all this snow we can slip and fall on.

ignoring the blizzard we headed out on saturday night for an evening of debauchery which involved downing three sparks before even leaving the house. somewhere over the course of the night we wound up getting the phone number of some chick who lives in LA. what is with the west coast girls? aren't there any on this side of the mississippi? well there is that one, who teaches two doors down from us. but there's nothing there but a whole lot of trouble. this we know and are constantly reminded of by friends who are doing their best to look out. any girl that drags me to places like this and this (especially on school nights) cant spell anything BUT trouble.

we're coming close to a week off. something we need desperately, this job is slowly sucking the life out of us, we've lost ten pounds due to stress and are generally becoming people we hate. the job hunt may recommence sooner than anticipated.

in other news. we have a new muse well three actually, and they're all on the N. and as we have more ready access to a computer these days, expect more frequent posts and a new redesign. its been a while since we mixed things up. its almost time to start the festival , which this year will include a full on oscar bash, some serious tourney action, birthday celebrations that will definately include some karaoke and may or may not include a trip to medeval times, and the requisite amount of cadbury's cream eggs..

go with god my friends, and watch your crossings...